Red Ring of Death: The issue that will never die
The dreaded Red Ring of Death or Three Red Lights signify the worst possible scenario for Xbox 360 owners: your console just went tits up, to videogame heaven or hell. I’m guessing hell. A recent story over at CBC.ca sent a flood of terrible memories and horrifying flashbacks of my own experience and love affair with Xbox customer service. Seven consoles in - yes, seven - and I’m still hangin’ on.
Even this far removed from the first year after the Xbox 360’s launch (Fall of 2005 to Fall of 2006), this appears to still be an issue. But as the article states, Microsoft seems to think it isn’t. For me, I hope to god it will never be an issue for me ever again.
When the rumours first started flying about the much higher than usual failure rate of Xbox 360s, I assumed they were gross over exaggeration by the characteristically vocal and, frankly, untrustworthy forum dwellers and bloggers. My arrogance soon settled in my stomach: almost a year to the day I purchased my Xbox 360, and the point at which my warranty would have run out, I too faced the Red Ring of Death.
Distraught, but I knew what to do: Straight back to Electronics Boutique to take advantage of their warranty. No problem, system replaced, brand new system. That one busted within three months.
Back to EB. This time they tell me they’ll replace my system, but, guess what, they’ve had far too many Xbox 360s returned so they’re no longer replacing busted ones with new systems. Instead, they hand me a fresh turd of a “refurbished” console. Awesome. I bring that one home and, right out of its shitty box, it fails.
Now I’m getting fed up. I decide I’m going to deal with Microsoft directly this time and, much to my pleasant surprise, there’s no hassle. I get sent a coffin (a cardboard box with packing instructions) to place my expired Xbox in for shipment back to Microsoft. The guy and Purolator quips “An Xbox, huh? Yeah, we get a lot of those.” No shit.
Within a couple weeks I get another Xbox 360, but whether this is new or refurbished I cannot tell: the rep from Microsoft customer service advised that it’s their prerogative what to send me. I think this one lasted me three weeks.
I decided to go back to EB and beg that they replace my console despite the fact that the one I had was from Microsoft - at this point I wanted quick, immediate service. They relented and provided me with another refurbished wonder. You know happened next. Utterly astounded at this chain of events, I decided to deal with Microsoft exclusively from this point forward and sent them another husk.
Only this time I was returned the same console with a note stating that they would not replace the system because it had been tampered with. If my brain had a thermometer, it would have read 100 degrees celcius. If it had a forecast, it would have read stormy with thunder and lightning. Apparently the refurbishing that EB does is not handled by the same folks at Microsoft, and suddenly this clusterfuck of a situation just got more clusterfucky.
Back to EB, crawling on hands and knees. If it weren’t for the fact that I spent more time than I care to remember schmoozing and talking up the staff there, they would have never been so lenient with me. The situation being what it was, they gave me yet another console, taking my word that it wasn’t I who tampered with the thing.
To be perfectly honest, the chain of events is hazy when you’re talking about so many consoles going back and forth. I know there were a few more duds until I settled with my seventh which, for about a year or so now, has yet to keel over. (Come to think of it, this may actually be my eigth console. I’ve literally lost count.)
If there’s a point to this, it’s that Microsoft screwed up in a big, big way. The actual cause has been revealed and better told at other websites. Suffice to say that Microsoft attempted to cut corners, and it was a corner they couldn’t afford to cut. They were forced to commit 1 Billion dollars to correct that problem with three year warranties for all defective consoles, and god knows what other redesign to the system they had to commission and implement.
If there’s another point, it’s that dealing with Microsoft was actually relatively painless. If there’s a last point, it’s that weren’t it for Xbox 360’s plethora of top notch titles, Xbox LIVE, Xbox LIVE Arcade, the New Xbox Experience, downloadable content, community games and so on, I would have never put up with what I did.
But will others?
peachey @ December 9, 2008
Buddy, this article was absolutely hilarious. Man, you really love the Xbox 360. I’ve RRoD’d once…the thing died on me 3 months in, was giving a brand new one from Microsoft in less than 2 weeks and it’s been smooth sailing ever since. Those launch Xboxes were brutal. Your Xboxes were all from the launch and post-launch batch. The failure rates are heinous with those ones. Glad to hear your woes are over. Gamertag: Icarus72.
Part of the ridiculousness of it all was that after my console broke down, they always replace it with a refurbished one which automatically means that that one as ALREADY broken down! WTF?! I’m just glad that whole ordeal is over. [Crosses fingers, knocks on wood.]